Boundaries Part. III

So where were we? Oh yes! Roommate asks to see the dildo and Wang says OK. I think to myself, “This is happening. I am going to see Big Brown again.” It’s like a bad horror sequel. Return of the Big Brown Monster. Better. Faster. Stronger. I sit down next to our life size sticker of Barack Obama and think about how I can’t sit through another Big Brown incident. I look up at the faux Obama and hear his voice telling me “YES WE CAN!” I got the president next to me, at least I’m not alone in this.

The two chuckle heads for roommates take a seat and giggle in anticipation of Big Brown. Wang slowly makes his way down the hallway. It was like I was in the Matrix. Everything was in slow motion. I was Neo. I was the one. He continues his slow and deliberate trek down to the living room. Over his shoulder, Wang is holding the pillow case. This sight totally reminds me of the times when Jake “The Snake” Roberts would make his way to the ring with his giant boa, Damien. The irony of it all. Wang throws the pillow case on the ground and the two chuckle heads gather around it and giggle more. The only thought that crossed my mind at this moment was that I lived with a bunch of donkeys. I am the King Donkey for knowingly living donkeys.

Sad face.

Roomate #1 carefully grabs one end of the pillow case as if a rattle snake was in there. My roommates are donkeys. He pulls on the pillow case and screams like a little girl. My roommates are donkeys. There it was, in all it’s glory, Big Brown. Roommate #1′s eyes open wide followed by uncontrollable laughter. Roommate #2 expression was priceless. It was if he had a moment of clarity right there and then. A look that said, “What was I thinking? I totally did not want to see this! I are idiot!” My roommates are donkeys. Wang apologizes to us for having the largest penis in the house. He really didn’t want to make us jealous. Sadly, I look at Wang and tell him that it is OK. It’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it. Because that’s what guys with Penile Length Deficit Disorder (PLDD) say, right?

Sad face.

I turn my attention back to the two chuckle heads and notice that roommate #1 has Big Brown in hand and screams as if he is a warrior ready for battle, with dick in hand. I look at roommate #1 and shake my head in disgust. I look at roommate #2 with his hands over his eyes and feel sorry for that son-of-a-bitch. He didn’t even see it coming. Bum-by he learn. I look at Wang as he smiles, knowing that we know who’s dong reigns supreme in the household. I look over at Barack Obama and beg for a change I can believe in. I look over at roommate #1 who sees me looking at Obama. He looks at Big Brown, looks at me, looks at Obama, and smiles. OMFG. It was a Sixth Sense moment. HO-LY-SHIT. He is not going to do it! Roommate #1 walks up to me. Smiles. Roommate #1 looks at Obama and gives him the biggest shit eating grin you would ever see.

Russel “This is not happening.”

Roommate #1 “No my friend…”

Russel “Don’t say it…”

Roommate #1 “THIS!”

Russel “O-M-G”

Roommate #1 “IS CHANGE, WE CAN BELIEVE IN”

The End…