Kanye West, I Don’t Hate You…

Some may think that I am taking advantage of the recent actions of Kanye West at the MTV Video Music Awards. I’m not. I have thought about this for a long time. I think it is time to share my thoughts about the celebrity who loves to be “That Guy.” Kanye West, I don’t hate you. In fact, I am quite thankful for your presence in my life. You bring several things to my table of life. Today, I would like to tell you them.

Your Music: There was a time I tried my hardest to hate you. Why? Because of the dumb things you do and or say. I bought into the hype. Kanye is a cry baby! Kanye didn’t wave at me, that jerk! Kanye says George Bush hates black people (The greatest moment in that segment is the look on Mike Meyers and Chris Tuckers face after you made that infamous comment. Classic). But even through all the Kanyeisms, (I just coined a new term, someone add to urban dictionary please.) I can’t deny that your music is so freaking awesome. If your music was a monster, it would be called “King Kong Awesome!” It’s that good. Gold Digger, Through the wire, Diamonds from Sierra Leone, Heartless, and even some of the stuff you are featured on, are undeniably catchy. Any album you touch, turns into gold. It’s true. The beats you use are off the hook and the rhymes you “Spit”, are lyrically “dope.” As a lyricist, you are one of the best, no doubt about it. I appreciate you as an artist. The bottom line is, you are good at what you do. Even though you do dumb stuff…which leads me to…

Your Douche-Baggery: Another term that must be coined in the urban dictionary. I don’t want to be Captain Obvious, but Kanye, you do stupid shit. Not only that, the stupid shit that you do makes you not look not just stupid, but also a douche bag. A big douche bag at that. If there was a King of Douche Bagria, well Kanye, you would have a village of minion douche bags bowing at your feet. There have been numerous reports of you reporting late for your concerts. You throw a fit like a little kid who cries and pouts until his mom buys him that toy in the store. You interrupted an acceptance speech so you could express your opinion like the pop culture version of Bill O’Reilly, except cooler of course. Kanye, you say and or do stupid things at the wrong times. It’s like you want everyone to know that you are not just a Queen Bee, you are a Queen “D”. Yes, the “D” stands for douche bag. You are the bar raiser of anyone who dreams and aspires to be a douche bag. You give little douche bags hopes and dreams of one day being just as Douche Baggy as you. Dare to dream is what you tell them with your actions. You are the leader, the dark lord, the king of all that is of douche bag relevance. Knowing who it is that leads the charge of the Douche Bag brigade is comforting to me. It is you Kanye, in case you didn’t figure it out.

I can’t hate you because your music is nothing short of spectacular. I can’t hate you because you are the numero uno Douche baggo. I don’t hate you because you are the best at what you do. You take pride in being a great artist and a total douche. Go big or go home. You go with your bad self. Kanye West, King Douche Bag. But, I don’t hate you…

Russel Kealoha.